Ah, the sweet rewards of being a free American. I was chosen to serve my country and perform Jury Duty this week. I called in every night at 5pm sharp, punching in my ID numbers like I was voting for American Idol. Each night, I was denied and left dejected like Sanjay. But last night I hit the jackpot and was told to report this morning at 9am
Free Parking, free wifi, top notch security (metal detectors!) a private desk area and clean bathroom are all here at my disposal. It is not enough to sit in this room with 100 other patriotic Americans, so the walls are adorned with other true Americans who have performed Jury Service with the Los Angeles Superior Court; Judge Lance Ito, Kimberly Elise, Tony Dow, "Weird Al" Yankovic, and Ed Asner. "Who?" you may be asking? A freedom loving American, fool! You know, Kimberly Elise, from... let me google and get back to you. But, she served on a Jury, so that's good enough for me!
Many of my fellow Americans don't have the stomach for such public servitude. Everyone has an excuse... "I'll lose money", "I can't get a sub", "I hate Jury Duty", "This is so lame"... on and on and on. But really, if you don't serve on a Jury, then you can't complain about OJ.